Posted with permission from the artist @ByTwistwood. Story by Matthew Wisner.
Mr Rogers A+ Parenting
Eggs are nature’s tide pods
Crunchy, juicy, and non-toxic
I just had a nightmare that I was two hours late for school and my dad was yelling at me about it. I woke up in a panic and remembered “Oh wait, it’s Saturday.” And laid back down, feeling the panic dissolve.
Then…ten seconds later.
“I’m 31.”
The lasting psychological effects of school are very prominent
In this photo you can clearly see both of Kirby’s hands!
In other words…
There is NO WAY Kirby could have taken a selfie!!
Hold it!
Wikipedia and Urban Dictionary both define a “selfie” as a photo of someone, taken by themselves. Usually from arm length, or through a mirror. So even if Kirby did ask someone else to take the picture for him…
It still wouldn’t count as a selfie!
You are ignoring the fact that most cameras have a fancy option to use a timer that takes the picture when the taker activates it.
Kirby could’ve perfectly used this option to take the picture, which even in your urban dictionary definition would still count as a selfie.
Since,
HE STILL MADE IT HIMSELF!!
why is it that whenever the phoenix wright fandom hijacks a post its always over something trivial and never anything serious like a murder case
oH IM SORRY LET ME GO MURDER SOMEONE SO WE CAN HAVE A MURDER CASE
Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.
When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
“No” he agrees, “this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.
Reblogged for that story
Your daily reminder that no, seriously: “difficult” is a matter of context.
Its called the Death Waltz, and was written as a joke but people have attempted it on piano.
Saxes move downstage.
SWEET JESUS CLICK THAT
the added directions are great.
‘insert peanuts’
‘gradually become irritated’
‘cresc., or not’
‘untie slip knot’
‘bow real fast, slippage may occur’
Release the penguins
Oh I got a shirt with this on it, and people would endlessly stare at it
duck
boss stage music
Always reblog the Death Waltz. Always.
LIKE A DIRIGIBLE
I recently discovered that the video in this post ISN’T the actual Death Waltz! It’s actually a song called “U.N. Owen was Her?” and I believe it’s from a video game.
Here’s the link to the REAL and ORIGINAL “Death Waltz”. The original actually does sound like a joke.
Lol ya. UN Owen was Her is the extra boss stage bgm for touhou embodiment of the scarlet devil. Somebody uploaded a clip of it and titled it death waltz so now everybody thinks it’s like the actual death waltz.
It’s funny looking at comments saying the actual music sounds like shit and that they prefer the Touhou music. Of fucking course it sounds rubbish, that’s the point! it was never meant to be played. Just look ate the actual sheet music and read the stage directions:
“Gong duet”
“sand bow to taste”
“Thank God that’s over with, let’s go to Taco Bell”
This was never meant to be played, it’s meant as a joke piece.
- Dumbledore: It’s very muggy outside today, Minerva.
- McGonagall: If I go outside and all the mugs are on the grounds, I’ll hex you.
- Dumbledore: [sips tea from a bowl]
people out here really sayin batman is a better fighter than wonder woman…they really saying tha
Someone add that drawing of Diana standing on Bruce’s head.
Thank you
He is though? He’s one of the most, and probably THE most, skilled fighter in the DC Universe, being trained to mastery in practically every martial art and usage of every weapon. WW is a skilled fighter as well, but her skills are limited to Amazonian styles and weapons. Also, that’s a comic cover, and comic covers are never accurate regarding what’s inside.
hmmm no, wonder woman is the best fighter in the dc universe as confirmed by geoff johns and other writers even. she has been training for CENTURIES and amazonian ‘styles’ are literally every style known to man and beyond lmao they are a warrior race, created by the gods to protect mankind, and she is the best of them all. even batman has said himself diana is better bc he ain’t freaking stupid and she has beaten him more than once. yall really think a man with with what, a few decades of experience is better than a woman from a warrior race created by the gods themselves, who’s been fighting/training for CENTURIES 💀💀💀💀 lmao and heres what its inside:
Batman isn’t a good fighter; he’s a good rogue who uses technology/stealth training to ensure he has advantage as much as possible. Once Bats loses the element of surprise, he is essentially just a very well trained man in a bat costume.
The thing about Wonder Woman is that you can’t really finesse your way past a fucking demigoddess. I think Gail Simone once put it best when she described the DC Trinity thusly:
“"If you need to stop an asteroid, you call Superman. If you need to solve a mystery, you call Batman. But if you need to end a war, you call Wonder Woman.”